March: Jesus, I My Cross Have Taken

Luke 9: 23-27

And he said to all, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself? For whoever is ashamed of me and my words, of him will the Son of Man be ashamed when he comes in his glory and the glory of the Father and of the holy angels. But I tell you truly, there are some standing here who will not taste death until they see the kingdom of God.

How I yearn this to be within every second of my life. As you see, this month's song is, "Jesus, I My Cross Have Taken." I want this song to be played at both my wedding and my funeral. I love the beautiful imagery and it truly talks about how life is going to be like following Christ.  

Jesus, I my cross have taken,

All to leave and follow Thee.

Destitute, despised, forsaken,

Thou from hence my all shall be.

Perish every fond ambition,

All I’ve sought or hoped or known.

Yet how rich is my condition!

God and heaven are still my own.

Let the world despise and leave me,

They have left my Savior, too.

Human hearts and looks deceive me;

Thou art not, like them, untrue.

O while Thou dost smile upon me,

God of wisdom, love, and might,

Foes may hate and friends disown me,

Show Thy face and all is bright.

Go, then, earthly fame and treasure,

Come disaster, scorn and pain

In Thy service, pain is pleasure,

With Thy favor, loss is gain

I have called Thee Abba Father,

I have stayed my heart on Thee

Storms may howl, and clouds may gather;

All must work for good to me.

Soul, then know thy full salvation

Rise o’er sin and fear and care

Joy to find in every station,

Something still to do or bear.

Think what Spirit dwells within thee,

Think what Father’s smiles are thine,

Think that Jesus died to win thee,

Child of heaven, canst thou repine.

Haste thee on from grace to glory,

Armed by faith, and winged by prayer.

Heaven’s eternal days before thee,

God’s own hand shall guide us there.

Soon shall close thy earthly mission,

Soon shall pass thy pilgrim days,

Hope shall change to glad fruition,

Faith to sight, and prayer to praise.

© 2001 Bill Moore Music.

Although the world will despise and forsake me, I still have Christ. I have the one who saved my soul to cling to and with that I am content and ever praising Him. Another verse that comes to mind is: 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. Despite my own condition, I still have Christ. He is everything or he is nothing. I sometimes cringe at how different my life would be if it had not been for Jesus interceding in my life. My heart cannot fully express enough my gratitude and contentment in Him. Jesus died for this undeserving race. We are in debt for a eternity beyond comparison. 
This last Sunday, I was discussing with my friend at church about how truly happy I am there and it is ultimately where I am happiest. Why? It's the communal worshipping of our Lord! Everyone shares a similar view of who God is and what he has truly done for us. We all share the same love for Him. We know the truth and we rejoice in this. As the song discusses, life is short and who are we to assume that this life is ours to live? Life is but a mist in the air. Life is not ours, but it is God's. I encourage you to live life not in vain, but for Christ. 
Pray for me in sharing the Gospel among my friends who are unbelievers. I understand that it will be offensive and will possibly change and/or strain relations with them. I hope that they understand that it is out of love that I am inclined to share the truth with them. It is because I love them and care about their spiritual wellbeing, that I am willing to put myself worries of maintaining a relationship so that they too can have Christ. Pray for strength, endurance, and continuity in my sharing of the Gospel. Pray that I take advantage of every opportunity that I have to share the Gospel and embrace it. Thank you.
Soli Deo Gloria.

February: The Wonder of the Cross

 Well, February is coming to a close and I have yet to select my song of the month.


February has been one of the most hectic months so far in my college career and for a while I wasn't prioritizing well. There would be days where my a capella group would come first and then my school work and vice versa. It's been hard. I just didn't make the conscious decision that it was okay to say no to some things. I was swimming in all the commitments that I've agreed to. Although my life commitments have been bobbing up and down in the water, so to speak, I know that one thing remained constant throughout. God's grace could not have been more prominent in every aspect of my life. He has given me the grace to accomplish everything that I have foolishly accepted, and he has given me strength to accomplish these tasks to the best of my ability. One song that has been weighing heavy on my heart this month is "The Wonder of the Cross" by Vicky Beeching. The lyrics are as follows:


O precious sight, my Savior stands,
Dying for me with outstretched hands.
O precious sight, I love to gaze,
Remembering salvation’s day,
Remembering salvation’s day.
Though my eyes linger on this scene,
May passing time and years not steal
The power with which it impacts me,
The freshness of its mystery,
The freshness of its mystery.

May I never lose the wonder,
The wonder of the cross.
May I see it like the first time
Standing as a sinner lost,
Undone by mercy and left speechless,
Watching wide eyed at the cost.
May I never lose the wonder,
The wonder of the cross.

Behold the God-man crucified,
The perfect sinless sacrifice.
As blood ran down those nails and wood,
History was split in two, yes,
History was split in two.
Behold the empty wooden tree,
His body gone, alive and free.
We sing with everlasting joy,
For sin and death have been destroyed, yes,
Sin and death have been destroyed.

May I never lose the wonder,
The wonder of the cross.
May I see it like the first time
Standing as a sinner lost,
Undone by mercy and left speechless,
Watching wide eyed at the cost.
May I never lose the wonder,
The wonder of the cross.

So basically amidst all my commitments, I was constantly reminded of the cross and all that Christ has done for me. It's so easy to go about my life and just casually address the topic of Jesus dying to save those he elected from eternal damnation. Because you know... he only died for us. It's no big deal. FALSE. Christ suffered the full wrath of God that was rightfully ours, but the perfect lamb was slain instead. How wonderful the gift that we have been given. We can never graduate from the Gospel. A friend of mine used a good example to explain how essential and important the Gospel is to our faith. She said learning the Gospel is like learning the basic alphabet. However, I doesn't stop here, I continue to use this alphabet for the rest of my life to read and learn more things by reading. The same goes from the Gospel. Let us never become casual with Christ or take the Gospel lightly. 

January: All I Have is Christ

So, I kind of want to start this "Song of the Month" type thing, where every month, I post one song that has been either weighing heavy on my heart, stuck in my head or for whatever reason. Along with the "Song of the Month," I'll include an update of where I've been or whatnot :)

As seen by the title of this blog, the song that I chose for this month is: "All I Have is Christ" by Sovereign Grace Music. (Can be hear by clicking here) The lyrics are as follows: 

I once was lost in darkest night
Yet thought I knew the way

The sin that promised joy and life

Had led me to the grave

I had no hope that You would own

A rebel to Your will

And if You had not loved me first

I would refuse You still

But as I ran my hell-bound race
Indifferent to the cost
You looked upon my helpless state
And led me to the cross
And I beheld God’s love displayed
You suffered in my place
You bore the wrath reserved for me
Now all I know is grace

Hallelujah! All I have is Christ

Hallelujah! Jesus is my life

Now, Lord, I would be Yours alone

And live so all might see

The strength to follow Your commands

Could never come from me

Oh Father, use my ransomed life

In any way You choose

And let my song forever be

My only boast is You

© 2008 Sovereign Grace Praise (BMI), by Jordan Kauflin

The first time I heard this song was at this conference, Resolved. I was reduced to tears. It was a clear depiction of my moralistic life and how gracious God was to me. Christ coming down to die for an undeserving race. Having the righteous, just and holy wrath of God, the father, being poured out on the Son. Before coming to realize what this truly meant, it was all head-knowledge to me. I knew all the answers, but it never occurred to me how significant and crucial Christ's death was. Well, yeah I knew it was important for man kind going to heaven and whatever else, but the reason WHY we go to heaven is so that we can HAVE Christ. My brother described it as being a former pharisee and thus being delivered, saved from our hypocritical ways. My mom has finished her race. She is in heaven where she is with Jesus and He is everything. She has Him as her own and I have peace with this because I know that there is no other place that I rather have her be. To keep her here on earth would be selfish. She's in the loving and caring arms of her Savior. Who can care better for her than Christ?

As my pastor says, "Christ is everything or He is nothing." The last verse is what always plays over and over and over again in my head. I want the remaining days of my life to look like that. I want my only boast to be Christ and how it is only by His grace that I have come to know what I know. Every time we sing this song in church, I always feel like I've run into a brick wall or more like the other way around. This really does portray the life of man before and after Christ. Verse one: the depravity of man. Because of our pride, we reject Christ. Verse two: What Christ has done for us, despite how undeserving. Verse three: Our response in what Christ did on the cross. To bring Him all the glory of which He is all-deserving.

Hallelujah, All I have is Christ. Hallelujah, Jesus is my life. Amen.

Her Life Has Yet to Begin

My mom was one of the strongest women I knew. It has been a year since my mom was diagnosed and has been fighting against lung cancer. The doctors didn't think she would make it eight months ago, but with God's grace, she proved them wrong. She's done a lot of that in her life. I'm proud to say that I couldn't have asked for a better mama. On Sunday, April 18th, 2010 at 7:45pm, Thu-Thuyet Pham went into the strong arms of Jesus, with him saying "Well done, good and faithful servant."

She was a stubborn woman if anything, but had a kind, generous, gentle and loving heart. She had a heart for Jesus and children. Leaving her children and husband behind to build a church building in Vietnam and witnessing to the children and their parents by cooking meals, arts and crafts and Bible stories. She was really a selfless person, but a very prideful one at that.

I remember growing up and in order for me to be toilet trained, she had to paint one of my finger nails. Oh the blissful memories.

Despite her condition in the past, my mama has been praising the Jesus for all he's done long before cancer. She was a strong woman in the faith and I've always looked up to her. It humbled me seeing how she dealt with cancer and yet she still had a good attitude. She maintained positivity. Her faith was always evident in her life.

She went without pain. That's all I could ask for. There was no struggle, there was no pain. There was nothing, but peace. Good thing about having a long-term disease is the preparation, the slow let down and I am grateful for this. Goodbye cancer. Hello eternal life with Jesus!

We have been given so many opportunities to witness to our families and I'm thankful for that. We are together and will remain to be together.

To my friends and family, thank you so so much for all the support. You all have been caring and very generous and loving towards our family. I love you all so dearly and I can't thank you enough. Don't be too sad. My mom is in the loving arms of our Savior Jesus, singing praises to Him. To be quite honest, I'm envious of her! Yes, I am sad that I no longer have my mama, but the joy that I have in knowing that she's begun her eternal life with Christ, there's nothing more I could ask for. She's finished her life on earth which is literally a mist in comparison to what she's experiencing now: an eternity with Jesus, which has just begun. She glorified Jesus in all she did.

Mama, I'm proud of you. I love you and I'll always remember you, how you lived, how you cared, how you loved. You've got the best seat in the house to watch your babies grow up. I couldn't have asked for a greater woman to be my primary example in my life. I love you.

Time Away From Time

Spring break was great, but it's such a tease! Once I become adjusted to the pattern of waking up late and doing whatever I want to do, it's already time to return to I guess you could say my everyday life.
Without a doubt, my obligations at home increased, but it was time away from what the world wanted from me. I did what I wanted to do without anything fro the outside telling me that I had to do "this" by "this certain frame of time," also known as homework. It was nice just sitting down and playing my guitar for hours upon hours. It's nice spending time how I want to spend it. I mean I guess we all have a choice over how we want to spend our time, but there are certain obligations that are being held over our heads.
I worked hard at practicing (or playing rather) my guitar and I can honestly say that I've never been more pleased with my fingertips hurting.

Anyway, aside from that. I want to touch on the topic of how things have changed a bit around the household. My mom's health is slowly declining and she is now breathing with an oxygen tank. Thankfully, she still has her appetite and can walk from her room to the dining table for meals and medication. Her life at the moment consists of: breathe, sleep, food and meds. It's been hard watching her, but I know that Jesus is in control. I know it's really hard to grasp the concept that I'm putting my trust in something that seems to be too insane to consider realistic. I know that what I believe may seem unreal or fiction to others. Despite what others say, God has been the most real thing in my life.
1 Peter 4:12-13
Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.

1 Peter 5:6-11
Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.

I want this to be my prayer: despite my own condition that I may always fully rely on God and not myself because who am I to think I'm able to do it on my own? Was it not by ONLY God's grace that he drew me to himself? Was it not God who put me into existence and had my days written before I was formed in my mother's womb?

He is glorious and mighty.