Sunday, January 31, 2010

Decisions: An Everday Part in Life

Why do we make the decisions that we make?
Decisions are made everyday in our lives: what we eat, what we drink, when we want to do our homework, if we want to go to school, etc. We all make decisions which in turn would benefit ourselves or if not for ourselves, then for others.
What sacrifices are we willing to make in our decision making?
It really is all about economics: marginal cost v.s marginal benefit. I could play my guitar until 6pm and spend the rest of the night doing homework until 1am OR I could do my homework now and go to bed early. Lets be honest... I chose to play my guitar because I believe that my marginal benefit exceeds staying up until 1am doing homework. Playing some guitar is better than no guitar at all; I value playing my guitar more than I value sleep.
To Kurtz, human life is not as valuable as his personal gain for power. He made a choice to do whatever it takes to gain power and progressively became numb to the ill-effects of murder. What I would like to know is what were the events that led up to his decision that power is more valuable than the life of another? How much dehumanization was he exposed to until he no longer felt uncomfortable being around it? How did he lose his reverence for life?
"It's not the circumstances that determine who you're going to be, but how you deal with these pains and problems that come your way..." - Mat Kearney
I couldn't have said it better myself. We all have a choice, but would we choose blindly, disregarding all the consequences or effects (positive or negative) that may come along with it? To what extent are we willing to go to obtain our wants?
What are we capable of and under what circumstances?

I'm not entirely sure of what my essay is going to be about, but I'm leaning towards choices: wants v.s. sacrifices. I don't exactly know where I'm going with this just yet, but I've got a couple of ideas I can run with which will help tremendously.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

A World Without Sound

Currently Listening to: "Gravity" by Sara Bareillis

A World Without Sound.
Sounds horrible, coming from someone who has her world go round with a significant amount of music everyday and every moment she c
an spare.
Sight. Hearing. Taste. Smell. Touch.
The five senses that we take for granted because of their frequent use everyday. We've become so casual with it that we've forgotten the essence of it all. What if we were to lose one
sense and live without it for the rest of our lives? How would we react or adjust?
If we had to lose one of these five senses and live the remainder of our life without it, which would we choose?

I can't say I would know where I would be without it. Music is an important part of my life, my escape. If I were to lose my hearing, I wouldn't be able to hear laughter, the voice of children, the sound of my piano or guitar. I'm at a loss for words when it comes to not being able to hear. The void that I would feel is indescribable. I'm sure that even if I were to be deaf for the rest of my life, starting tonight, I would even miss the sound of bickering.

Starting tomorrow, I'm starting classes in American Sign Language (ASL). Although it is a bonus factor to my desired profession, I'm allowed the opportunity to see the world from a different perspective: a world without sound. ASL is more than just signing signs with one's hands. It requires so much more: seemingly ridiculous facial expressions, over-exaggerated gestures, and understanding. I feel that sometimes ASL has a better way for expressing oneself in which words can not describe, thus shown through motions or gestures. Not even lyrics from artists can capture real emotion. Yes, the listen can be moved, but if ASL were added to the song, a visual, how much more meaning would be added?
Dance is very much like this. A visual that adds more to the meaning of things: different interpretations.

"Gravity" by Sara Bareilles: (links below)
Dance vs Sign Language

I know that what I've said can't possibly do any justice, but I'm willing to learn and experience it all.
It's a new year, might as well start with a new perspective.

Monday, January 18, 2010


What is hope? According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, as a verb, to hope is to cherish a desire with anticipation of something. Some say hope is worth living for if there's nothing left to look to. Why do we hope? What do we hope for? Hope provides comfort, which later helps one to maintain positivity.
There are many things that we hope for in life: hope to meet others' expectations, hope to mend friendships, hope to see another day. We entered in the new year in hope of change. Like the word love, there are many different degrees of hope. There are some degrees that take away from the word's meaning and there are some that contribute. At the moment we see a large amount of hope being poured out to the needy country of Haiti. We can see that hope is evident in those who live there, those who traveled there to provide aid, and those who have made financial donations. Surely the hope of the people in Haiti is to a greater to a much higher degree than a child's hope for Santa's arrival to bring him toys.
In Heart of Darkness, we see the hope of the Europeans to establish the "new land" as theirs, their hope to indoctrinate the natives: show them the proper way of living, while in the minds of the natives, they hope for peace and the restoration of their land.
In Sunday Mornings, we see the hope for restoration in a father-son relationship or the hope of realization for the son's love for the father although it was not made evident in the past.
In Dog's Death, we see the hope of a married couple seeing their dog return to health. Although the puppy did not make it, hope allowed the couple to stay positive and reminisce the good memories that the couple did have with the puppy.
My personal hopes: I hope that this even that has occurred in Haiti would allow me the opportunity to share the Gospel with others and that God's hand is in this event. I also hope that my mom would be cured of her malignant cancer. Although it may not seem like it, God is in control of everything. God uses events like these to bring others closer to Him.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

From 2009 to 2010.

Adieu 2009. Bonjour 2010. Looking back on 2009, undoubtedly, it was the year that turned my world upside-down. Yes, I am about to start a new year and set new goals, but as much as I want to start this year with a clean slate, I won't be able to. The trials and tribulations of 2009 roll their way into 2010. My faith has been tested on numerous accounts and will continue to for as long as I continue to persue my walk with my Savior, Jesus.

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing... Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him." James 1:3-4, 12

Whatever that the Lord has for me: I hope that I am willing to accept what He has for me and that I would always rejoice in Him no matter my own personal state. May I always be reminded of His grace and remember Jesus' death on the cross, which has redeemed me. I pray that I would continuously be a beacon for the Lord, through action, deed and thought. My goal: To bring glory to Jesus, who is more than deserving of it. May my love for Christ be fervent and constant.
Regarding my present state: I know that God is in control of everything and He is Sovereign in all He does. I acknowledge my wretched human nature, pride and all my wants to "be in control." I pray that I am able to fully depend on God. Although I understand that He is sovereign in all He does, I pray that I would not live my life blindly and ignorantly.
2010: What the world wants from me: Just because I live in the world, does not mean that I live of the world. Just like how water and oil do not mix, I pray that my walk with Jesus would not be skewed despite all the standards and expectations that the world throws at me. I am going to graduate in less than 5 months and without a doubt, I'll have more responsibilities both at home and at school. I'd have to be ready and prepared for what's to come. I don't know what the future holds and part of me never wants to find out what the future holds. As much as I would like to put the world on pause to catch my breathe, it's never going to happen, so I'm just going to have to go along with it even if I don't want to.
Auf Wiedersehen, 2009. 2010, bring it on.